June 14, 2011: My Perception

Hola, All! Have you ever wondered why certain things happen to you? I know that I have, especially if I see something as hurtful, evil, deceitful, causing pain, etc. But, if what happens to me is fun, or exciting, or makes me happy, then I'm jumping for joy! What makes the difference here? It is only my perception of the event. The value of anything that happens to me, or things that I see or read about is determined by my perception, and nothing else. What if I could first see an event as neutral, would that change my perception of the event? What if I could back off from the situation and just watch it unfold, without putting my judgements on it, could I see it differently? Could I learn something from it? Most likely the answer is yes.
Several years ago a close family member, I'll call Susie, was so mad at me that she would either act like I didn't exist or say ugly things to my face. She even called and told me that I wasn't welcome at the family Christmas gathering, even though it wasn't at her house. Of course my perception was that I was being wronged. Granted, through the years I had said things that were hurtful to Susie; after all, who hasn't said things that they regreted? But, to have all this anger aimed at me for the reasons that she gave, it made no sense. At first I was deeply hurt and struggled to understand how this could be happening to me. But, as time went on, I was able to step back, to try to see things from her perception. She was old and lived alone, her husband having passed away 2 years ago. She didn't have many friends, and spent a hugh amount of her day by herself. The bottom line, in my way of thinking, was that she was angry at life and was taking it out on me. Ok, but, how could I deal with my hurt feelings? I kept having to step back, to look at the situation objectly, which was not easy to do. But, I did realize after a few months, that this was going to be a hugh lesson for me in forgiveness; I was going through this for a reason. That realization didn't help me forgive her any sooner; the only way I made it through was by working on forgiving her little by little. And then, one day a couple of years later, as if by magic, the anger directed at me was gone, and things were, sort of, back to normal. Was I ever able to see this as neutral? Not on your life. Am I a better person for having gone through it? Absolutely.
Stepping back from a situation can be such a blessing. It allows me to try to look at the event from another perspective, which helps to keep me from saying/doing something that could make the situation worse. Now, that's a good thing!
Step back into a more peaceful solution,
Dawnie