Hola, All! Putting oneself first only makes sense! If you don't take care of yourself, then who is going to? As a mom I didn't always feel this way, but the reality is that the only person responsible for me.........is me! The following story is an example of how I put myself first; I think you'll understand.
During the months that my sisters and I cleaned out and remodeling our mom's house, something wonderful happened! We developed stronger bonds with each other, and wanted to continue hanging out with each other. We planned a girls' sleep-over at Carol's house in Nolanville, which happened last weekend. I was looking forward to spending time with everyone, when on Thursday, I started feeling a little 'off', and my left temple had a tinge of pain. This was a clear sign that a migrain could be headed my way. Then on Friday I found myself running to the bathroom throughout the day, if you know what I mean. I wasn't sure what was causing this turn of events, so I tried to ignore them, hoping they would go away. But on Saturday, I was feeling better even though I still had a slight headache. I drove to Carol's house enjoying the drive, where Jeanne and Lynne showed up also. Carol, and hubby Stan, live on the edge of Nolanville on several acres. We took a short walk around their property, sat on her front porch shooting the breeze, and played the card game "Hand and Foot". Later we made dinner and played "Apples to Apples" with my neices, Diana and Melissa. We laughed, played Neil Diamond cd's, and enjoyed each others' company. Before we knew it, it was midnight! Lynne said that she would sleep by herself since she snores...........Jeanne and I were just fine with that arrangement! At 3am when I felt Jeanne get out of bed for the 3rd time, I asked her what was wrong; for some reason her feet kept cramping. In the morning Lynne told me that she didn't sleep well either; I wondered what was going on. Seems as though none of us slept well. I finally asked myself what my headache was all about.....it was about my mother. You see, recently we had to put her in a locked memory unit 20 minutes from Carol's house, and she is not happy about it. I think we all knew how close in proximity we were to her and yet none of us wanted to think about it. Repressed feelings will always show up, one way or another. For me, I realized that thinking of mom brought up memories of my dad, who lived in a VA hospital for over 3 years before he passed on. Everytime we would visit, he would ask, sometimes beg us to take him home; and now we are dealing with the same situation with our mom. She always feared living like this, and now she is living her fear. As I left Carol's house to drive home, I thought about going to see mom. I thought about how I'd had a slight headache for 4 days, and how little sleep I had gotten Saturday night. I just didn't think I had the emotional stamina to deal with the situation, knowing that if I visited her, the chances of me getting a migrain would increase dramatically, so I just kept on driving. About 30 miles later, my headache went away and I felt the tensionfade away. Right then I knew that I had done the right thing; I had put myself , my health, first. My first responsibility is to take care of me in the best way that I know how, and that's what I did. Putting yourself first is not taking anything away from anyone else; it is accepting the responsibilty that you are in charge of your own health.
Take care of yourself first,
Dawnie
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