February 27, 2011: Dancing and Trusting God

Hola, All! A year and a half ago Ed and I started taking dance lessons. I have wanted to know how to dance, especially the East Coast Swing, since I was in college. I remember that my friend, Mary, could get on the dance floor and just boogie away! I was secretly jealous because I wanted to know how to do it too, but, for whatever reason, I never asked her to show me. Then, when I was dating Ed, we used to go to the Belle Star on Sunday evenings to take country and western dance lessons. Why we stopped going after we were married is a mystery to me. We went to our first lesson at the Rosemeade Rec Center in September, 2010. We learned how to do the basic steps of East Coast Swing (is similar to the jitterbug), and the country and western dance called Double Progressive. The interesting thing about Double Progressive is that it is mainly popular only in Dallas; the most popular C&W dance step in the United States is the Two-Step, which Ed and I are also learning. For the man, the hardest parts of dancing are that he has to lead the lady every step of the way and at the same time pay attention to what his feet are doing. This is a real challange for most men when they start learning to dance. For the woman, the hardest parts are doing all the turns and not knowing what step the man is going to lead next. For the longest time, I would get sooooo dizzy from turning that Ed would literally have to stay really close to me in case I fell , which never happened. I also had a really hard time leaving all the leading to him; it was so hard getting used to not knowing what step to do until he lead it. At some point it dawned on me the similarities between dancing and trusting God. In dancing if the lady doesn't follow the man's lead, the results are that he ends up going one way and she goes another. This can lead to frustration, anger, and having to start all over again. Something similar happens when God wants to lead us down one road and we, usually out of fear, go down a different road. God isn't frustrated (since He is only Love, Peace, and Joy) but I've been frustrated as I have resisted His lead since I didn't know where it was leading. As I have relaxed and trusted Ed to be the leader on the dance floor, it has taught me to relax and trust God to lead me off the dance floor. Just as on the dance floor, Ed can only lead one step at a time; the same is true that God leads me one step at a time. When I am doing the turns, I have to trust Ed to protect me from getting hit by other dancers. Similarily, I trust that God will protect me as I go about my day. I have come to understand that I really don't need to know the next step in either case; my job is to follow where I am lead, knowing everything will turn out beautifully, if only I will let it.
Life is good!

Dawnie

February 25, 2011: What would I do with a million dollars?

Hola, All! What would I do with a million dollars? As long as I am fantasizing, I might as well make it several millions! Do I take care of my expenses first, put some in savings and then pass out the rest? One of my affirmations is that 'I am a good million dollar manager'. What exactly does that mean? Have I shown God that I know how to take care of the abundance that flows my way? One thing I don't want to do is stop the flow of abundance by hoarding all the money or spending it all for selfish reasons. Although, if you think about it, as long as the money flows in and out, does it really matter where it goes? Since I've really not given this much thought, what I'm saying here is coming off the top of my head. So here's one plan: The first thing I would do is pay off the loan that we took out for Ed's dyno business, and have added onto when we upgraded the house with the laminate flooring. Then I would add the maximum to our IRA's for this year. I'd seriously think about paying John, my son-in-law, to move his family from Chicago to Carrollton!! And, I'm thinking that needs to be moved to the top of my list! I want to start a foundation, or be involved in a foundation that helps women and children in Guatemala. Camille's brother already is doing this; I hope to get some information from you soon about it, Camille! I know that there are so many charaties and organizations that help other people that it's hard to know which ones to support. I think I'll stick to the ones that mean something to me, like the American Disabled Veterans . Even though my dad wasn't physically injured in the war, (he was a veteran of WW II, the Korean War, and the Viet Nam War), there's no telling how the wars affected him mentally, and he eventually was mentally and physically disabled. Have you ever wondered why so many people who win the lottery are broke after a few years? Here's my version: after the elation of winning so much money wears off, they start thinking about why they won and if they deserved to win. Guilt sets in as they spend money that they didn't earn, until all the money is gone, and they are back to where they started, back to a position they are familiar with. I know that God wants all of us to be happy, to live fulfilling lives, to contribute to the good of all. I also know that when I am a manager of millions, I will be listening for divine guidance, listening for the best way to make use of the green paper that I'm in charge of. What about you: what would you do with a million dollars?
Happiness is yours and mine,
Dawnie

February 23, 2011: Tibetan Bowl

Hola, All! Every morning after reading my lesson for the day from "A Course in Miracles", I sit on the floor with my Tibetan bowl beside me and strike it slowly, letting the vibrations linger until they are almost gone. Then I go through this process two more times, enjoying the sounds my Tibetan bowl makes. I repeat the affirmation several times that comes from the lesson, and try to let the affirmation soak into my mind. Yesterday, after doing this, words started coming into my mind so fast that I had to stop and write them down. I want to share them with you:

"As the Tibetan bowls are played, close your eyes and imagine that the vibrations are filling your body with healing. Release your anxieties, fears, helplessness and allow the vibrations to enter your body, and then allow them to leave taking your anxieties and fears to the Conscienceness of God. Relax into the loving sounds of the Tibetan bowls. God wills you to be happy; allow it to fill your heart with the Love of your Creator."

I believe that Tibetan bowls have healing powers for me, and possibly for you. I know that I receive Divine guidance through hearing, so it comes as no surprise to me that the vibrations allow me to open my thoughts to receiving messages.
The Grace of God is with you,
Dawnie

February 22, 2011: Dream

Hola, All! Several years ago I had a vivid dream where I was applying for a job in a church that was shaped like a lighthouse. As I stood in front of the audience, I remember that I could only see the people sitting in the center section of the church. On either side of the center, it was as if a black screen kept me from seeing those sections. I didn't really know what to think of this dream except that I knew somewhere down the road this dream would come true in some fashion. You see, I rarely remember my dreams so when I do, expecially when I can remember details, I keep these dreams in the back of my mind. Now, at the time of this dream I was very involved with missions at Holy Covenant United Methodist Church. I love organizing mssion trips in this area and to far away places, such as Guatemala. I have the gift of caring about and helping people, but I don't get emotionally pulled into their burdens. I have my own that I'm trying to get rid of, and really don't want to take on the burdens of others.
The dream was interesting in that I didn't feel that I was being called to be a missionary, or a preacher, or to work within the Methodist church. A few months before this, I felt a strong calling to get over my fear of public speaking, at which time I joined a local Toastmasters group. Belonging to Toastmasters has literally changed my life, giving me more courage and self confidence, and making me realize that I really did have a purpose for being. So dreaming about speaking in front of an audience was something that I could connect with.
This morning while blowdrying my hair, it dawned on me that The Cathedral of Light might be the lighthouse that I knew would show up in my life. Even though the building is not shaped like a lighthouse, COL gives off a light letting people know that this is a safe place to worship no matter what color you are, what your sexual preference is, what your background is or where you are on your spiritual path. All are welcome here. As far as getting a job there, I don't know about that, but I do know that life is an exciting journey!
You have a reason for being!
Dawnie

February 21, 2011: 100 Lessons

Hola, All! Today was a day of celebration! It marked a milestone for me because I made it to Lesson 100 in "A Course in Miracles"! Yeaaa! It's not that it's a struggle to do the lessons, it's just that I don't always take the time to do them, especially if I'm out of town or if my sweet grandbaby is here. Or sometimes I do the same lesson twice because I didn't spend enough time on it the first day. So, it has taken me awhile to complete 100 lessons. Today's lesson had to do with remembering that each of us is meant to spread His happiness to everyone we come in contact with. That was fairly easy for me since I'm a pretty upbeat person to begin with, and I have no problem greeting people I don't know with "Good Morning!" or something to that effect. To give you some background, there are 365 lessons in the "Course", one for each day of the year. Since it is a home study, everyone who studies this book goes at his own pace; at the rate I am going, it will take me over 2 years to complete it. But, the length of time it takes is immaterial; what's important is that one lesson is learned before continuing to the next lesson. The whole purpose of the "Course" is to provide a foundation for inner peace, and I have to say that it is working for me. It is all mental work, so it can be done no matter where I am or what I am doing. Of course, the challenge is to remember each day's lesson throughout the day, and that is where I sometimes get stuck. I can go hours without thinking about it, and then all of a sudden, it hits me..............that's when I do the same lesson the next day also. But, each lesson learned brings me a tiny step closer to having inner peace, being calm inside no matter what kind of drama is going on around me. I stick with it because I have been searching for inner peace for years and have finally found something that is working for me. Everything inside of me tells me that I am on the right path. And so, I celebrated today by spreading happiness eveywhere I went.
Celebrate your life!
Dawnie

February 20, 2011: Cathedral of Light

Hola, All! Today my friend, Bhooma and I, went to the service at Cathedral of Light in Carrollton. I have been there several times before, but this was Bhooma's first time. One thing that I really like about COL is that during the service, a woman named Wilma plays Tibetan bowls of different sizes, which causes them to emit different sounds. If you've never heard the sound Tibetan bowls make, they kind of sound like beautiful wind chimes. I have a Tibetan bowl that I bought at the women's retreat some of us attended in November. I love to hear its music before I start meditating; it seems to quiet my mind much easier than I can do on my own. I can feel the vibration the music makes throughout my body; it's as if I am connecting with the Spirit of God. I want to share the words that came to me while meditating: Be open to the Love of God, from whence you came. Let the healing tones of the Tibetan bowls vibrate through your soul, lifting you from the despair of life to His Love. Let them awaken inside you His joy and peace that is your inner being. Be guided into the peacefulness of His Love. Remember Jesus' words, "I am with you always".
Another thing that I like at Cathedral of Light is that when it's time to 'pass the hat', we are asked to take our money or check in our hands so that we can bless it. The blessing is written on a large screen so that everyone repeats the words together. Then, after dropping our money in the collection plate, we ask God/Divine Love to bless and mulitply all that we are, all that we have, all that we give and all that we receive. Doing that makes me feel like my heart just spreads itself across my chest.
Even though I've visited COL several times before, today was the first time that I really felt a connection. I just knew that I was in the right place to get my heart filled up. Afterwards, Bhooma told me that as soon as she entered the cathedral, she felt the positive energy. We're decided to visit again next week; come join us if you are looking for a different spiritual experience. The service is at 10:30am; I hope to see you there!
I am Love, You are Love,
Dawnie

February 19, 2011: Want/Desire #2

Hola, All! I have been asked several times about the difference between 'to want something' and 'to desire something'. (This refers to my previous blog.) I gave people my definitions but today decided to consult with my good friend, Mr. Webster. As I read the definitions, they sounded almost the same, but then I came to the SYN part under 'desire'. Here is what it says:

DESIRE: generaly interchangeable with the other words here in the sense of 'to long for', stresses intensity or ardor/(such as) to desire success/;
WISH: is not as strong a term as desire and has special application when an unrealizable longing is meant/(such as) he wished summer were here/;
WANT: specifically suggesting a longing for something lacking or needed, generally is a more informal equivalent of wish/(such as) she wants, or wishes, to go with us.

So, there you have it, folks, right off page 373 of Webster's New World College Dictionary. Please continue reading and asking questions; I'll do my best to 'set you straight'!

You are Love, I am Love,
Dawnie

February 18, 2011: Wants/Desires

Hola, All! While reading "The Way of Mastery", I came across an exercise called "Trusting Desire". After reading it through, I decided that it would be interesting to do. If you want to find out what you truly want and desire out of life, give it a try. Even if you feel like you are doing what you are meant to be doing, you might be surprised at what is truly in your heart. For me, I found it easier to do this in the morning, not long after waking. If you are interested, here is what you do. First, relax your body, close your eyes and breathe deeply; then ask yourself, "What do I truly want?" Write down ANYTHING that comes to mind, and pay attention to what images and feelings you get, even if it's wanting chocolate! Place no judgment on what shows up. When you have finished, take another deep breath and ask, "What do I truly desire?" Again, write down whatever comes into your mind as pictures, feelings or words. The next day or so, do this exercise again, until you have done it for 5-7 days. Each day after doing it, don't look at what you've written. Just put it aside until the next time. At the end of the 5-7 days, read again what you've written each day, and see what repeatedly shows up. After 7 days I got a piece of paper, wrote down each new thing that I had thought of, and when something repeated itself, I marked how many times it showed up. Then I ranked the top 10 things that were my wants/desires; I did not separate the wants into one column and the desires into another. This gave me a clear idea of what is in my heart. So the next time I question why I am on this planet, I can look at my list and be reminded of my purpose. One thing the book suggests is to talk about one's results with a buddy. So, if you do this exercise, and want to talk about it with me, just let me know. I think it'll be fun!
You are Light, I am Light,
Dawnie

February 16, 2011: Valentine's Day

Hola, All! For Valentine's Day I asked for a love letter from my valentine. At first Ed said he didn't know how to write a love letter; I told him to just write down what was in his heart. Later I found him looking up love letters on the internet. I could tell he was trying but it was causing him stress also. I let him off the hook by giving him my second choice: a session of reflexology. I mentioned it to Joyce who wanted it from her valentine also. We decided to return to "The Foot Place" where we had gone a couple of months ago and had really enjoyed it. Since it is across the street from Walmart, we decided to shop first, then go have our feet massaged. As we were leaving Walmart, something made me look at my feet. I started laughing as I realized that I was wearing my warm, cozy houseshoes! How silly of me to forget to change my shoes.........oh well! I like the reflexology at "The Foot Place" because it's not just about getting your feet massaged; they massage just about every body part from your head to your toes. And, it's so reasonable: $29.00 for an hour! And, now they have a special going: $29.99 for 70 minutes! Why is it that I don't even think about the hair on my legs until I'm sitting in the chair, about to put my feet in some delicious hot water? Knowing there was nothing I could do about it at that time, I didn't really check out how long the hair was until I got home. You'll be happy to know that my legs have seen longer hair than they did on Monday! As I get older, less things are really important, and having hairy legs is not something I am going to sweat over. The foot massage is good and the body massage is good, and Joyce and I left happy campers! I know that we'll be back!
Happy Feet,
Dawnie

February 15, 2011: DART RAIL

Hola, All! Today my friend from Cuba, Aida, and I rode the DART train from the Frankford station to downtown Dallas. Even though Aida doesn't speak much English, and my Spanish is a work in progress, we seem to understand each other most of the time. Or, I just let her yak and nod my head. The danger in doing that is I might be nodding 'yes' when shaking my head 'no' is a more proper response. Oh well! When we got to the parking lot, we were very fortunate to find a parking place near the platform. It was encouraging to find that this lot was packed; there is another lot beside it that wasn't full. I'm so glad to see the citizens of Carrollton using DART rail. There are 3 machines where you can buy a ticket, but we couldn't get any of them to take our money. (Rats, right!) I talked to the man driving the train and he said he had already called it in, so we just got on the train and paid for our ticket on the other end. A one day pass is $3.50 - $4.00. One reason I wanted to ride the train was to see where it stopped. Besides Carrollton and Farmers Branch, it stopped near Love Field. You have to get off the train and catch a bus to the airport, but you get to use your same rail ticket. It also stopped close to Children's Hospital and Parkland, but if I were really sick, I'm not sure I could walk to the hospital since it looked like it was a hike. We got off the train downtown and walked around the West End, eating at The Corner Bakery........yum! We then walked to The Red Courthouse where there is a tourist bureau inside. If you go there, they will give you a map and show you where the most interesting places are to visit. As far as free places, he mentioned the Kennedy memorial, Neiman Marcos, the Crow collection of Asian Art, and the Guadalupe Cathedral. Another place is Thanksgiving Square. We didn't visit any of those places since we had to be back by a certain time, but I plan to return, this time with an agenda of places to see. It was an interesting, enjoyable day, and I highly recommend experiencing the train from Carrollton to downtown Dallas and beyond.
Enjoy your trip!
Dawnie

February 14, 2011: Potatoes

Hola, All! Last weekend, my brother, Terry, wife, Lynna, and daughter, Emily, spent the night at my house. As Terry and I were talking, he asked me what kind of vegetables I was going to plant this year. I mentioned tomatoes, zuchinni, squash; also, basil and oregano. He said, "Why not new potatoes?" I really hadn't given potatoes any thought but remembering how delicious my dad's new potatoes were really got me to thinking. I remember that my dad planted them in February, but I couldn't tell you anything more than that. My dad didn't start a garden until I was in college, so it wasn't something I grew up with. And, unfortunately, while he was alive, I wasn't interested in growing some of my own food. Now that I am, he isn't around; sometimes things work that way. Terry said to plant potatoes, all one needed was some potatoes from the store; that I had. While I cut 2 red potatoes into fourths, Terry dug 8 holes in my garden. Then he threw one fourth potato into each hole, covered it up and said that's it. Since then I've done some research on the internet. It seems that the potatoes needed to have developed some 'eyes' since that is the 'seed'. (I'm sure that the ants are having a 'potato party' since i'm not digging them up!) I bought 2 more red potatoes today, and put them in the pantry, hoping they develope 'eyes' in the next two weeks. For north Texas, the best time to plant potaotes is from February 15 to March 1. Then I read on another website not to plant potatoes that are bought in the grocery store since they are sprayed with something that keeps them from reproducing. What to do?? If you have experience growing red potatoes in this area, would you please tell me your process? I would appreciate it greatly.
You are Love, I am Love,
Dawnie

February 8, 2011: Jury Duty

Hola, All! This morning I was at the municipal court in Carrollton to attend jury duty. I had mixed feelings about performing this service since I have been trying to reduce/eliminate judgment in my life. This was a paradox for me since being on a jury requires one to give a verdict on another person's behavior. There was nothing on the summons that I could use as a legal reason not to go, so I went trusting that I would not be picked. (Warning: if you go for jury duty, wear warm clothes; I wore a long sleeve shirt, a very light sweatshirt, and a light leather jacket along with socks and boots, and still was cold. Also, and I know this is selffish, but I wanted to see Kerri before she went out of town at 10:30am, so I set my goal to be home by then.) While we were waiting for the bailiff, we watched an interesting short clip about the history and purpose of jury duty. After some time, the bailiff arrived calling out 20 names of people in the room who would go to the first court room, some of whom would be picked to serve on that jury. I was not on his list. Then, a second bailiff called out 18 names, mine being the 7th name. In the courtroom, the prosecuting attorney told us she was going to ask us questions and we should verbally respond yes or no. As she was going through her routine, about half the people would answer, the rest remaining silent. I was listening to her when she asked the following question: If there is a city law that you don't agree with, and the defendant broke this law, could you uphold it? Some people answered yes, and she went on to the next question. But, inside me, something started churning and making me real nervous. I asked myself, could I do that, knowing the answer was no. So, I raised my hand, and asked to return to that question. I told her that I didn't think I could uphold a law that I didn't agree with. She said, OK, and moved to her next point. Shortly thereafter, we were dismissed to the next room while the proseceutor and the defendant (who decided to be her own lawyer) each picked 3 people to serve on the 6 person jury. When we returned to the courtroom around 10:15am, my name was not called, and I made it home in time to take Kerri to the airport. I want to close by saying that if you feel proud to serve your country on a jury, wonderful! I am not knocking jury duty at all. But, for me, when my insides were in a knot, I knew that I had to be true to myself and speak up about my feelings. It was the right thing for me to do.
I am Love, You are Love,
Dawnie

February 7, 2011: Aura/Angel

Hola, All! Sometimes in my meditations, I ask to see angelic beings. Why do I want to see them? Possible a part of me needs proof that they exist, or maybe I think that if I see them, that means I am on the 'right' spiritual path. I want to know that I am connecting with them. Sometimes I just want to feel them beside me. Yesterday I met Edna at the Cathedral of Light for their Sunday service. There were lots of uplifting music and good messages. Rev Kay had given an inspirational reading after which was a period of silence except for the lovely sound of vibrating Tibetan bowls. Then, Rev Kay gave a message on "To Love As God Loves". As I was listening to her message, the energy field surrounding her body came into my vision. As I sat there watching her energy field, it started to grow beyond her into the shape of a head with shoulders. The 'form' lasted only a few seconds, and then it kind of melted back into her aura. But, in a few seconds, out of her energy came a second form, like the first, only larger. There was no clear distinction of anything except behind her was a 'form' of a head, shoulders and flowing body that seemed to float. It lasted but a few seconds. My first and only thought was that I was seeing one of her angels, but I felt no different than before. There was not even a little bit of excitement over seeing this, which kind of surprised me. I guess I expected to be happy, or elated, or even scared.........but I had none of those emotions. It happened and then it was over. I could still see Rev. Kay's aura but no more shapes presented themselves to me. Did I see one of her angels? I don't know, but I do know that I saw something. Whether it was an angel, or an extention of her energy, I don't think it really matters.... A thought just now occured to me that possibly it was an extention of the Love that she was sending out into the world. Ah, that explanation seems to ring true to me; I think I'll stick with that one.
I am Love, You are Love, Give it freely.
Dawnie

February 5, 2011: Reactions

Hola, All! Today we are going to talk about why we get our feelings hurt or why we react to a situation or another person. "The Way of Mastery" says that ....."you will continue to project upon others what remains unhealed and unforgiven within yourself. Each time you react to another, you are being given a sign that there is some kind of energy that has been presented to your awareness that you have not forgiven within yourself. If someone is critical and you react everytime they are critical, you have not healed that part of your own being--that part of your own experience of being critical of others." Isn't it interesting that when we react to someone or something, it tells us that we have some healing and forgiving work to do. Look at all the times during the day that the opportunity arises for us to heal and forgive others and ourselves. "The Way of Mastery" tells us to count our blessings when we feel disturbed. My first reaction was, geez, what kind of blessing is that! But it is a blessing because it gives us the opportunity to release healing Love to ourselves and to others. But, how does it work? After we realize that we have some healing to do, try to relax, breathe deeply, and ask yourself, "What is it within this person's energy that is really causing my reaction?" Pay attention to the first thing that enters your head because that is the source of your disturbance. Maybe it was something your mom said years ago, and you are still carrying that memory around because everytime you have thought about it, you tried to push it deeper inside of yourself, not wanting to deal with it. If you are ready to release this memory, here is what you can do: Let the memory arise while you breathe and relax, not judging but honoring it, and sending it love. Then bring to mind a time when you said something hurtful to someone, and say to yourself: "I forgive me for being critical. I forgive my judgment of myself. I choose to teach only Love." You have now released those memories, and that is why I told you earlier that it is a blessing when we react to something someone said. It's all about releasing our unforgiving feelings and healing ourselves. Reacting to another person or situation is our signal that we have unresolved memories, and now you know that there is a way to release them.
You are Love, I am Love,
Dawnie

February 4, 2011: Are you the Judge?

Hola, All! I was reading in "The Way of Mastery" about what happens to our bodies when we judge ourselves, judge others, judge situations, etc. "Judgment causes the very cellular structure to break down. If you could see this, you would never judge again. When you judge, even the cells of your body go crazy. They vibrate in a completely dissonant way. There is contraction. The fluids do not move through the cells. The nutrients do not become transported or delivered to the cells. The waste matter is not processed properly. Everything gets clogged up, and there is dis-ease." Holy Cow; who knew! But, it does make sense that being critical would have an impact upon our bodies. Now that I know this, what can I do to keep from judging? It seems to be such a natural part of life, but it was a learned response. So, if I learned how to judge, then logic tells me that I can unlearn how to judge. One way I am working on is whenever I catch myself passing judgment, I stop and say something like, "I forgive you and I forgive me; I love you and I love me." Even though I probably pass judgment at least 100 times a day, I only caught myself once today.........and it wasn't even about a real person. Ed and I were watching a movie when I made an unkind comment about one of the characters. The good news is that I caught myself just after I said it. I know that I need to pay MORE attention to the thoughts that go through my head and the words that come out of my mouth. Since judging seems to be a national passtime, do you have any creative ways of slowing down this process? I would love to hear your suggestions.
I am Love; You are Love,
Dawnie

February 2, 2011: I Am

Hola, All! I was reading in "The Way of Mastery" this morning about how we are all a being inside of a body, that who we truly are is inside of us. Our body is just the 'shell' housing our spirit, and our spirit is connected to God. This got me to thinking about how we think about ourselves, the way we word things in English, and how it's different in the Spanish language. For instance, we say, "I am 29 years old" where in Spanish they say, "I have 29 years." Wouldn't it be easier to accept that age is just a number if we thought of ourselves as 'having' so many years instead of 'being' so many years? Or, we say, "I'm hungry and thirsty", but in Spanish it's "I have hunger and thirst". Does hunger and thirst define who you really are, or is it a description of the way you are feeling at that moment? One of my favorites in Spanish is "You have reason", instead of "You're right". Are you really 'right' or are you using logic? In English we define ourselves all day by starting with "I am .....". Truly the only thing we are is Spirit, connected to Divine Love. Here's a little homework: the next time you say "I am.......", try to rephrase it to describe what you are feeling, instead of defining what you are.
You are Love, I am Love,
Dawnie